How did I learn to love myself – Part One

In life the only challenge we ever face is to find out what We are and how to love that what We are.

  • How can you possible think of giving without having something of your own? Be it faith or belief or trust in yourself.
  • How can you love others if you never learned to love yourself unconditionally by accepting who you are, forgiving the mistakes you have made, making peace with whats unchangeable, embracing your faults and realizing you are after all a person.
  • How can you even think of caring for someone else if you never could care for yourself- your health, your thoughts, your emotions and your feelings?
  • How can you understand another person if you never really knew who you are, what you want from life, and what matters to you most?

You can or you may already be loving, caring, understanding towards the people around you, but, what sort of incomplete, halfhearted, dissatisfied, discontent, person can really give something to others, what he cannot give or do for himself.

Then you cannot go running, desperate, pleading for someone else to give you what you never could find yourself. Such is a recipe for destruction, because two halves never make a whole, especially when halves are two different people. Because no matter how close they are, no two individuals are ever the same. Maybe on a fundamental level, in terms of the mind body and its design, but never on a personal level, in terms of the experiences they have had, the will they possess, the desires they hold, the thoughts and emotions that drive them. It is the intangible and immeasurable that defines and separates one from another.

Two wholes make a larger part of something greater than the individual selves. But no one ever takes the time to realize the whole they are, do they?

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.
― Martha Graham

It is not something as simple as accepting oneself and all the imperfections. It requires abandoning things that hold you in the past, willingness to let go people who were close to you once,  sacrificing those part of you which now you finally realize aren’t the YOU.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health-food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is, ‘LOVE OF ONESELF‘.”

– Sir Charles Spencer “Charlie” Chaplin (1889 – 1977)

Our choices and the paths they lead us often into this diverse groups of people. And then we are continually surrounded by their definitions of ideas, beliefs, interests, passions, when together in groups, be it in social gatherings or schools & colleges, or your typical workplaces, in families and in your close circles. In a ceaseless whirlpool of personalities, we lose ourselves, we never touch that something, which we will one day stand for, we never reach that purpose, that point, which will determine our fate…

…part 2… (next post)